10 Words From The 2016 Dictionary of Neo-Definitions

Noun. Anything. Literally anything.

Example: Sometimes I like to watch NASCAR, so I’m a boy, but sometimes I like to use pink crayons, so I’m a girl–so then I’m bigender, but then sometimes my piss is so hot that it feels like jet fuel, so I guess that makes me trisgender and planegender. Then sometimes I’m mad at my mom, so I’m also genderfuckyou. My pronouns are fux, fux, and gofuxurself.


Adjective. When you won’t give away the things you worked for when someone else tells you to.

Example: So what if you work 55+ hours a week of hard labor? You don’t deserve to spend your money on whatever you want. That’s greedy. Give your money to me. I deserve it more.


Noun. Any person an individual does not like for whatever reason.

Example: Omg, my mom won’t let me go to the Beyonce concert because I have to pay for my own ticket. She’s literally Hitler.


Integrityassisant pitfalls
Noun. Something someone has when they speak out against injustice and wrong doingthen supports someone who commits everything they are against.

Example: He said corruption is bad, get big money out of politics, and that you, as a person, matter then turned around and agreed with someone who built their career off of corruption, bribes everyone she can in politics, and said fuck you voters, you don’t matter–He has such integrity!


Noun. Having anything; including it money, an education, parents, or the ability to read.

Example: The government should just claim all children because no one is equal when some kids grow up with parental-privilege. I know some kids without dads and it’s not fair to them to have to know kids who grew up in a loving family.


Noun. White people, but can be considered anything that is white.

Example: Anything a white person says is racist because they are white. But also the white stripes on the US flag are racist. Snow is racist. And marshmallows are especially racist because they turn black when you set them on fire.


Verb. Any interaction a white man has with a woman.

Example: Did you see the way he looked at Stacy? He totally just raped her right in front of us.


Noun. The scapegoat for people when they’re caught doing something bad.

Example: Omg, Becky wasn’t supposed to find out I was sleeping with Johnny. That email was only for Johnny to see. Russia is such a bad person because they hacked my email! I didn’t do anything wrong! They hacked me, gaiiiiz!


knife-crime-jihadi2Unknown Motive
Noun. Reason behind every Islamic terror attack.

Example: He wore typical Muslim garb, had a big, bushy beard, and screamed “allahu akbar” as he shot down all those kids, but there’s still an unknown motive behind his actions.


Adjective. The desire to not be murdered by foreigners.

Example: So what if Islam kills more people every day? You’re just xenophobic if you don’t want more of these people in our country.


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